Living the life you want requires you first (hopefully) know yourself well enough to start with real inputs- not trauma, and, or an unexamined and uncritical, misunderstanding of who you think you are.
You know who you are- right at this moment anyway.
If you could determine what it is you want to do with your life, now, and then pursue that fearlessly, that is the ideal.
What is there to be afraid of? What is the risk of not doing this?
So yeah, find your "why" (cliche for reasons), then pursue- get after it.
See you on the other side.